From Chaos to Calm: The Power of Choosing Response Over Reaction
- Ben Silverberg
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read

When Emotions Take the Wheel
Ever seen your child spiral from calm to chaos in seconds?
One small trigger — and suddenly they are flooded. Angry. Crying. Shut down.
That was Sam, one of my students from Los Angeles. But what I taught him applies far beyond children — it shows up in our relationships, our work, and even in the way couples navigate the sacred journey of marriage.
Because in every human heart, the same truth exists: we are not puppets of our emotions. We are the pilots.
The Lesson That Changed Everything
Sam was a sensitive boy with a quick mind and a quicker temper. A teasing comment at school could derail his entire day. He felt powerless — like life kept pushing buttons and he had no choice but to react.
So I taught him something simple but life-changing:
“You are not a puppet. You are the pilot.”
Just because someone pushes a button does not mean you have to fly off course.
Together we practiced the art of the pause — of noticing, naming, and choosing. Sam learned that between stimulus and response lies power. The power to stay centered. The power to stay kind. The power to lead with calm instead of chaos.
It was this same spiritual muscle that I saw so beautifully reflected in Jaime and Tommy, a remarkable Jewish couple from Toronto whose Jewish Wedding Ceremony I had the honor of officiating.
Jaime and Tommy’s Story
Jaime and Tommy came to me in the midst of their Jewish Wedding Planning — a mix of excitement, nerves, and endless details. They were warm, funny, and deeply in love. But like every couple preparing for their big day, they had moments where the stress felt bigger than the joy.
As their Jewish Wedding Cantor, I guided them through the beauty of Jewish Wedding Traditions — the Jewish Wedding Ketubah, the Jewish Wedding Chuppah, and the powerful symbolism behind every ritual. I had been mentored years ago by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi who taught me something timeless: “The ceremony is a reflection of the relationship.
The way you handle stress together is as sacred as the vows you exchange.”
Jaime and Tommy embodied that truth.
When Tension Meets Tenderness
There was one evening when they disagreed about their Jewish Wedding Venue. Jaime loved the elegance of a downtown ballroom. Tommy wanted something more natural, perhaps an outdoor Jewish Wedding Reception under the stars. The conversation grew tense.
Jaime told me later, “I was ready to cry. I wanted everything perfect. I felt like he just didn’t get it.”
But then she remembered something we had discussed in our premarital meetings — the power of the pause. She took a breath and said, “Let’s step back. What is this really about?”
Tommy smiled and replied, “I just want us to feel free that day. Not trapped by formality.”
And that changed everything.
Instead of reacting, they reflected. Instead of chaos, they chose calm. That one moment of awareness strengthened their bond more than any floral arrangement or playlist ever could.
The Calm Inside the Ceremony
When their Jewish Wedding Toronto celebration finally arrived, it was pure joy. The music soared, the crowd danced the Jewish Wedding Hora, and every detail reflected the blend of tradition and authenticity that made them who they were.
Under the Jewish Wedding Chuppah, as we read the blessings and signed the Jewish Wedding Ketubah, Jaime and Tommy looked at each other with a calm kind of love — the kind that comes from self-awareness and grace.
That is what makes the difference between a Traditional Jewish Wedding and a truly meaningful one. It is not about perfection. It is about presence.
As a Jewish Wedding Officiant, I have seen many couples swept away by details — the Jewish Wedding Decorations, the Jewish Wedding Invitations, even the pressure of the Jewish Wedding Photographer capturing every second. But the couples who shine the brightest are the ones who remember that calm is a choice.
Jewish Wisdom on Emotional Mastery
Judaism has always understood the importance of emotional balance. The Talmud teaches, “Who is mighty? One who conquers their inclination.”
That does not mean suppressing emotions. It means guiding them with intention.
Each part of a Jewish Wedding Ceremony mirrors this truth. The breaking of the glass, for instance, is not just about destruction — it is about transformation. It reminds us that even in our moments of intensity, we can choose meaning over reaction.
The Jewish Wedding Rituals invite us to slow down and reflect — to step into sacred space with gratitude and awareness.
From Wedding to Parenthood
Months after their wedding, Jaime and Tommy reached out again. They were expecting their first child and wanted me to officiate their baby naming ceremony Jewish at home.
That morning was filled with light. Family and friends gathered in a circle as I led the Jewish Newborn Ceremony, explaining the deep symbolism of welcoming a new soul into the covenant of life.
Through the Jewish Baby Naming Services I offer, parents not only celebrate birth but also reflect on the kind of emotional legacy they want to pass on. For Jaime and Tommy, it was clear: they wanted to raise a child who could lead with calm, compassion, and strength.
Their Jewish Baby Naming Celebration was intimate and sacred — music playing softly, laughter echoing, love radiating. They told me, “We want our daughter to grow up knowing that emotions are not the enemy — they’re teachers.”
That is the same principle that transformed Sam, my student from Los Angeles, and so many others.
A Life Coaching Perspective
Whether I am guiding couples through Jewish Wedding Customs or teaching families through my life coaching work, the message is the same: peace begins with awareness.
We cannot control every trigger life throws at us. But we can control how we respond.
If your marriage, your family, or your child’s emotional world feels like it is spinning out of control, remember this truth — you are not a puppet. You are the pilot.
That simple mindset shift can change a wedding, a relationship, and even a lifetime.
Final Thought
When I think back to Jaime and Tommy’s Jewish Wedding Ceremony, I remember the calm that filled the room — not because everything went perfectly, but because they chose to stay grounded in love and understanding.
That calm carried into their Jewish Baby Naming Ceremony Planning, their home, and their hearts.
Every relationship will face storms. But the couples who last are the ones who learn to pause before reacting, to breathe before blaming, and to choose kindness before chaos.
So the next time life pushes one of your buttons, remember this: you do not have to fly off course. Take a breath. Reflect. Lead with calm.
Because that is where true power lives — in the quiet strength to steer your own story.




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