One of the most important conversations I have with a couple before their Jewish wedding has nothing to do with flowers, timing, seating, or even the order of the ceremony. I want to know about them. When I met Max and Sue, a wonderful Jewish couple from Toronto whose wedding I had the privilege of officiating, I did not want to create a Jewish Wedding Ceremony that could have belonged to any couple. I wanted their guests to listen and think: “That is Max and Sue.” That is th

One of the questions couples sometimes ask me is: “Cantor Ben, can our wedding ceremony actually be funny?” My answer is absolutely yes. In fact, I think the right humour can make a Jewish Wedding Ceremony feel even more meaningful. That may sound surprising. Some couples assume the ceremony is supposed to be entirely serious until the Jewish Wedding Reception begins. But real relationships are not like that. Real relationships include laughter. Inside jokes. Funny habits. Mo

One of the questions couples sometimes ask me during Jewish Wedding Planning is: “Cantor Ben, do we actually need a bridal party?” My answer is simple. No. You can absolutely have a beautiful, meaningful, complete Jewish Wedding Ceremony without bridesmaids, groomsmen, attendants, or a large group standing beside you. That was important when I got to know Sandra and Brad, a wonderful Jewish couple from Toronto whose wedding I had the privilege of officiating. They wanted thei

If you are planning a Saturday Night Jewish Wedding Toronto celebration, there is one timing question you should answer before finalizing your schedule: What time can the actual Jewish wedding begin? Many couples assume the answer is simply sunset. That is not how I schedule the weddings I officiate. I go by Havdalah time, which is approximately 50 minutes after sunset and varies according to the date. That distinction matters. It determines when I can sit down with the coupl

One of the questions I sometimes hear from couples planning their Jewish wedding is: “Cantor Ben, do we have to write our own vows?” Usually there is another question hiding underneath it: “Are you going to make me stand in front of 150 people and give a speech about my feelings?” If that thought terrifies you, I have good news. No. In most of the Jewish weddings I officiate, the couple does not exchange personal vows. Writing and reciting personal Jewish Wedding Vows is not

One of the more sensitive questions I receive from couples sounds something like this: “Cantor Ben, one of us has been married before. Can we still have a traditional Jewish wedding?” My answer is often very reassuring. Yes. A previous marriage does not mean your next Jewish wedding has to feel less Jewish, less meaningful, or less celebratory. There is, however, an important Jewish requirement that needs to be addressed. If there was a previous Jewish marriage for which a Ge

One of the most emotional questions couples sometimes ask me during Jewish Wedding Planning is: “Cantor Ben, someone incredibly important to us has passed away. Is there a way to honour them during our wedding?” My answer is yes. But I believe it needs to be done thoughtfully. A Jewish wedding is a celebration. At the same time, major life moments often make us especially aware of the people we desperately wish could be standing beside us. We do not have to choose between cel

If you have attended a Jewish wedding, you have probably seen the couple drink wine during the ceremony. But why? Is it simply a toast? Is it there because wine is associated with celebration? Or is there a deeper Jewish meaning? When I officiated the wedding of Jackson and Tammy, a wonderful Jewish couple from Toronto, I wanted them and their guests to understand that the wine was not simply another item on a list of Jewish Wedding Rituals. Wine represents joy, blessing, and

When Jackson and Tammy began planning their Jewish wedding in Toronto, there was an important question they wanted to discuss with me. Their wedding was obviously about the two of them. But their lives were about more than the two of them. There were children involved. So they asked a question I increasingly hear from couples planning a Second Marriage Jewish Wedding or creating a blended family: “Can our children participate in our Jewish Wedding Ceremony?” Absolutely, there

There is a moment at almost every Jewish wedding that immediately tells you something important is about to happen. The couple stands beneath the chuppah. Even guests who know very little about Jewish Wedding Traditions often recognize it. They see the Jewish Wedding Chuppah in photographs. They watch the couple walk beneath it. They understand that this is where the heart of the Jewish Wedding Ceremony will take place. But I often wonder how many people actually know what it

If you have attended a Jewish Wedding Ceremony, you may remember a beautiful series of Hebrew blessings recited beneath the Jewish Wedding Chuppah. They are called the Sheva Brachot, which literally means Seven Blessings. But here is the question I think couples should ask: What do the Seven Blessings at a Jewish Wedding actually mean? Because there is a tremendous difference between hearing beautiful Hebrew and understanding why those words are being said at one of the most

I hear versions of this question from Jewish couples more often than you might imagine. “My fiancé grew up much more religious than I did.” “My partner wants a very traditional Jewish wedding, but I want something more modern.” “I care about being Jewish, but I do not connect with every tradition the same way my fiancé does.” Then comes the real concern: “How do we create a Jewish Wedding Ceremony that feels authentic to both of us?” My answer is that your wedding does not ha

When couples begin their Jewish Wedding Planning, they usually think first about the big decisions. The Jewish Wedding Venue. The guest list. The Jewish Wedding Photographer. The food. The Jewish Wedding Music. Then, as we begin talking about the actual Jewish Wedding Ceremony, a very specific question often comes up: “Who can stand under the chuppah with us?” My answer is that there can be flexibility, and I love helping couples decide what will feel most meaningful for them

When couples picture a Jewish wedding, they sometimes imagine hundreds of guests, a huge ballroom, elaborate Jewish Wedding Decorations, a packed dance floor, and an enormous Jewish Wedding Reception. That can be wonderful. But it is certainly not the only way to have a meaningful Jewish wedding. One of the questions I increasingly hear from couples is: “Can we have a small Jewish wedding with only the people closest to us?” Absolutely. In fact, some of the most emotional Jew

One of the questions I hear from engaged Jewish couples in Toronto is surprisingly simple: “We do not belong to a synagogue. Can we still have a Jewish wedding?” Yes. Not belonging to a synagogue does not mean that your wedding has to lose its Jewish identity, traditions, beauty, or meaning. In fact, many of the couples I marry are Jewish and feel deeply connected to their heritage, families, and traditions, but they simply are not members of a synagogue. For me, that is not

One of the most practical questions couples ask me during Jewish Wedding Planning is: How long does a Jewish Wedding Ceremony actually take? My answer surprises some couples. For the weddings I officiate, the ceremony itself is usually about 25 minutes. That does not include the processional, when the wedding party and couple walk down the aisle. Depending on how many people are participating and the Jewish Wedding Music you choose, the complete experience may be closer to 30

You just got engaged. You are excited. Your families are excited. Suddenly everyone is asking the same questions. When is the wedding? Where will it be? Have you booked the venue? But there is another question couples should be asking almost immediately: Who is going to marry us? If you are planning a Jewish Wedding Toronto celebration and hoping to have me officiate, my advice is simple. Reach out to me as soon as possible after you get engaged. Ideally, contact me before yo

One of the most common questions I hear from engaged couples is: “Can a Cantor marry us, or do we have to have a Rabbi?” The short answer is yes. A Cantor absolutely can officiate a Jewish Wedding Ceremony. In fact, from a Jewish perspective, a wedding officiated by a qualified Cantor is every bit as meaningful and authentic as one officiated by a Rabbi. Here in Ontario, I am also licensed by the Province of Ontario to legally register your marriage, so your Jewish ceremony a

Wedding planning should bring a couple closer together. Yet for many engaged couples, it can suddenly feel as though they are planning a wedding for everyone except themselves. A new mother in law may have strong opinions about the Jewish Wedding Venue, guest list, menu, music, ceremony, invitations, traditions, and even the time the Jewish Wedding Reception should end. That raises an important question. How much do you have to make your new mother in law happy during the wed

“I have vertigo. Do I really have to circle my husband seven times during our Jewish Wedding Ceremony?” The answer is no. At the weddings I officiate, a bride may choose to circle seven times, three times, or not at all. Your health, comfort, and safety matter more than following a custom simply because you think it is expected. As a Jewish Wedding Cantor, I believe Jewish Wedding Traditions should bring meaning into your ceremony, not fear or physical discomfort. If circling