Can I Have a Jewish Wedding Without a Rabbi?

Ben Silverberg
2 days ago
5 min read

When I first met Amy and Ben, a lovely couple from Toronto, they were sitting across from me at a small café downtown. The look on their faces said it all — excitement, love, and just a touch of confusion.

Amy smiled nervously and said, “So… we have kind of a big question. We’re planning our Jewish wedding, but we’re not members of a synagogue. We love Jewish traditions, but we don’t really want a formal Rabbi-led ceremony. Is it even possible to have a Jewish wedding without a Rabbi?”

The answer, I told them, was simple.“Yes. Absolutely. You can have a beautiful, meaningful, and halachically sound Jewish wedding ceremony without a Rabbi — because that’s exactly what I do.”

The Role of a Jewish Wedding Cantor

I’m Cantor Ben, a Jewish wedding officiant based in Toronto, and I’ve been honored to help countless couples like Amy and Ben create the perfect blend of Jewish wedding traditions and modern meaning.

I am not a Rabbi — and that’s important to say clearly — but I was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi who taught me the depth, beauty, and symbolism behind every element of the Jewish wedding ceremony.

As a Jewish wedding cantor, my role is to bring music, heart, and personal storytelling into the sacred framework of your union. I believe that every couple deserves a ceremony that reflects their story, not a script that feels forced or outdated.

Amy and Ben’s Wedding: Modern Meets Traditional

Amy and Ben’s journey to the chuppah was a reflection of so many Toronto couples today — spiritually connected but not strictly religious, culturally Jewish, and deeply in love. They wanted to honor their roots while also keeping their wedding authentic to who they are.

We began by sitting together to plan the flow of their Jewish wedding ceremony. We talked through every tradition — the Ketubah signing, the Chuppah, the circling, the Sheva Brachot, and of course, the joyful Hora at the Jewish wedding reception.

Together, we made choices that felt true to them. Amy wanted to include the Ketubah, beautifully designed by a local Toronto artist. Ben loved the symbolism of the Chuppah, representing the home they would build together. They both wanted to write their own Jewish wedding vows, blending ancient blessings with modern expressions of love.

Their Jewish wedding music was live and soulful — the melody of “Erev Shel Shoshanim” filled the garden venue as Amy walked down the aisle. Their Jewish wedding photographer captured every teardrop, every laugh, and every small gesture that made the day theirs.

It was the perfect mix of traditional Jewish weddings and modern Jewish weddings — spiritual, personal, and timeless.

The Beauty of Jewish Wedding Rituals

One of my favorite parts of officiating Jewish wedding ceremonies is helping couples rediscover the meaning behind each custom. Amy and Ben were amazed to learn that every part of the ceremony tells a story.

• The Ketubah isn’t just a document — it’s a covenant of love and responsibility.

• The Chuppah is not only a canopy — it symbolizes hospitality, faith, and the open heart of a new home.

• The Hora isn’t just a dance — it’s a celebration of community and joy.

• The breaking of the glass is not about sadness — it’s a reminder of balance, wholeness, and the beauty of imperfection in love.

By the time we finished our Jewish wedding planning sessions, Amy and Ben realized that their wedding didn’t need to be “Rabbi-led” to be Jewish, spiritual, and deeply sacred.

Jewish Wedding Traditions Reimagined

On their big day, surrounded by friends, family, and a sea of white flowers and soft candlelight, Amy and Ben stood together under their Jewish wedding chuppah.

The moment was simple and profound. They read their personalized vows. We recited blessings from the Jewish wedding customs passed down for generations. Their guests sang, laughed, and cried.

As I sang “Mi Adir,” the room filled with the kind of energy you can’t describe — a mix of sacred history and pure joy. When Ben stomped on the glass, the crowd erupted into cheers and song, and the Jewish wedding dance began. The Hora lifted everyone into the air, symbolizing unity, connection, and community.

Their Jewish wedding reception was a blend of elegance and joy. From the Jewish wedding decorations that reflected their style to the perfectly chosen Jewish wedding attire that captured tradition and individuality — every detail spoke of love, heritage, and personality.

When Jewish Wedding Services Go Beyond the Wedding

A few months later, I received an email from Amy that made my day.

“Cantor Ben, we can’t thank you enough for our ceremony. It was everything we wanted — traditional yet modern, deeply meaningful, and full of love. We’re also excited to tell you… we’re expecting!”

And soon after, I was honored once again to officiate their baby naming ceremony — a joyful moment welcoming their newborn daughter into the Jewish community.

The Jewish baby naming ceremony was intimate and filled with gratitude. We blended Jewish baby naming rituals with family storytelling and gentle music. Amy and Ben invited their loved ones to share blessings, making it a true Jewish baby naming celebration.

We prepared Jewish baby naming invitations, chose soft and uplifting Jewish baby naming ceremony music, and even shared blessings during a small Jewish baby naming reception afterward.

Moments like these remind me that my work as a Jewish baby naming officiant is an extension of my role as a cantor — to help families celebrate every sacred stage of life.

From Jewish weddings to Jewish newborn ceremonies, these milestones connect us to our heritage, our community, and our hearts.

You Can Have a Jewish Wedding That Feels True to You

So, can you have a Jewish wedding without a Rabbi?Yes. 100 percent yes.

You can have a ceremony filled with Jewish wedding traditions, meaningful Jewish wedding customs, and even modern Jewish wedding elements — all led by a Jewish wedding cantor who will take the time to know your story.

Whether you’re planning your Jewish wedding in Toronto, looking for Jewish wedding services that combine warmth with authenticity, or dreaming of a ceremony that blends faith and fun, you don’t need a Rabbi to make it sacred. You need someone who understands love, connection, and what truly matters.

I would be honored to help you create your ceremony — one that reflects not just your heritage, but your heart.