Should We Do a Tisch — and What Does That Mean?

A Real Story from Sam and Gary’s Jewish Wedding in Toronto

By Cantor Ben

“What’s a Tisch, and is it really for us?”That was the exact question Gary asked me when we first sat down to plan his and Sam’s Jewish wedding in Toronto. Like many modern Jewish couples, Sam and Gary wanted a wedding filled with love, family, music, and tradition. But they weren’t sure what all the pre-ceremony customs meant or how they could make them personal. They wanted their big day to be meaningful, not just a beautiful event.

This is where the Tisch came in.

As their Jewish wedding officiant, I explained what this beautiful ritual is all about and helped them decide how to make it reflect who they are. And spoiler alert: it became one of the most emotional and joyful parts of their day.

Let me walk you through what we did — and what it could mean for your own Jewish wedding celebration.

What Is a Tisch?

A Tisch is a pre-wedding Jewish gathering, traditionally for the groom and his family and friends. “Tisch” is Yiddish for “table” — and that’s exactly what it is. A table surrounded by loved ones, with singing, laughter, words of Torah, and a sense of unity before the ceremony begins.

Historically, the groom might deliver a short teaching or reflection and be playfully interrupted with songs and jokes. It’s a moment of spiritual grounding before stepping under the Chuppah.

But in modern Jewish weddings, the Tisch can be adapted to include everyone — brides, grooms, nonbinary partners, friends, and family.

For Sam and Gary, we designed a Tisch that blended Jewish wedding traditions with warmth and meaning. It included storytelling, blessings from parents and grandparents, singing from friends, and a toast that had us all laughing through tears.

Why Sam and Gary Chose to Include a Tisch

Sam and Gary both grew up in Toronto. Gary came from a more traditional background, where he remembered attending a cousin’s Tisch years ago. Sam was more skeptical. She loved the idea of Jewish wedding music and joyful customs but didn’t want anything too rigid or overly religious.

When I shared how the Tisch could be customized to reflect their values, their eyes lit up.

We created a joint Tisch, with both of them present. Each parent shared a personal blessing. Their siblings led a round of singing. I offered a short teaching about love from Jewish texts, which led beautifully into the signing of the Ketubah — another moving moment of Jewish wedding ritual that marks the formal agreement of the couple’s union.

Sam later told me, “That Tisch made everything real. It was the moment I felt all our people behind us.”

A Wedding Rooted in Meaning

The rest of Sam and Gary’s Jewish wedding ceremony flowed beautifully. We stood under the Chuppah, with the lake glimmering behind us at their Jewish wedding venue in North Toronto. Their Jewish wedding photographer captured stunning images of the moment they circled one another — a custom symbolizing protection and unity.

From the Ketubah signing, to the breaking of the glass, and finally to the energetic Hora during the Jewish wedding reception, every element reflected both ancient tradition and modern love.

And yes, we’re already in conversations for their Jewish baby naming ceremony, because this journey is only just beginning.

So, Should You Do a Tisch?

Here’s the truth: a Tisch is one of the most powerful ways to start your wedding day with intention. It offers a moment to pause, connect, and be surrounded by blessings and love before walking down the aisle.

Whether your wedding is deeply traditional or more modern, the Tisch is flexible. Some couples choose a joyful, rowdy Tisch with songs and shots of schnapps. Others make it spiritual and quiet. You can include:

• A blessing from your parents

• A toast from your friends

• A teaching or poem

• Singing from a cantor or friend

• Memories of loved ones

• A moment of silence or intention

The key is this: it sets the tone. In a world where weddings can feel rushed or overly scheduled, the Tisch slows time. It reminds you why you’re here. Why this matters.

Jewish Wedding Rituals That Stay With You

As someone who was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi, I’ve had the blessing of learning how to bring Jewish wedding customs to life in a way that speaks to today’s couples. Though I am not a Rabbi myself, I am a Jewish wedding Cantor, and I specialize in guiding couples through each ritual — from Tisch, to Ketubah, to Jewish wedding vows, and more — with care and clarity.

I always tell couples: your Jewish wedding should reflect your story. The rituals aren’t about checking boxes. They’re about anchoring your love in something timeless.

And it doesn’t end there.

When the time is right, I also offer Jewish baby naming services — a continuation of the story you begin on your wedding day. I’ve helped families welcome new life through Jewish newborn ceremonies filled with song, blessings, and community. Whether it’s a boy’s brit milah or a girl’s Jewish baby naming tradition, we can plan something meaningful, inclusive, and beautiful.

Planning Your Jewish Wedding

If you’re in the midst of Jewish wedding planning in Toronto or beyond, here are some ideas to explore:

• Jewish wedding invitations with a symbolic design

• Selecting a Jewish wedding photographer who captures the spiritual and emotional moments

• Choosing meaningful Jewish wedding music that includes traditional melodies and modern favorites

• Designing a Chuppah that reflects your family history or values

• Writing Jewish wedding vows that blend ancient blessings with your own words

• Curating a Jewish wedding reception that’s joyful and deeply you

Your wedding is more than a party. It is a sacred threshold.

Final Thoughts

Sam and Gary taught me something that day. They reminded me that tradition doesn’t have to be intimidating. It can be a doorway. A doorway into meaning, connection, and legacy.

So if you’re wondering whether a Tisch — or any other Jewish wedding ritual — is right for you, here’s my answer:

If it brings you closer to your people, your purpose, and your partner… it’s worth it.

And I’d be honoured to help you create it.

Looking for a Jewish wedding officiant or Cantor in Toronto? Or planning a baby naming ceremony down the road? Let’s talk. Your story deserves a ceremony that feels like home.