As a Jewish Wedding Officiant, I’ve seen couples fall into the trap of chasing perfection when planning their special day. Whether it’s picking the ideal Jewish wedding venue, selecting the best Jewish wedding photographer, or trying to live up to the picture-perfect weddings they’ve seen online, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. But here’s the truth: perfection is a myth, and chasing it will only stress you out and stop you from enjoying your wedding day.
This lesson is one I often teach my students, too. Recently, one of my students was feeling down after scoring 92% on a test. She had done incredibly well, but because she hadn’t hit 100%, she was disappointed. I reminded her that perfection is not the goal. Instead, it’s about progress and growth. That 92%? It was fantastic! And just like her, couples planning their Jewish wedding ceremony should focus on their personal journey and celebrate the progress they’ve made rather than stressing about the things that didn’t go perfectly.
In this blog, we’ll explore why you should stop chasing perfection, focus on progress, and embrace the joy in your wedding journey. I’ll also share a story about Adam and Michelle, a wonderful couple whose Jewish wedding in TorontoI officiated, and how they learned to let go of perfection and appreciate the beauty in their unique wedding.
Why Chasing Perfection Can Hold You Back
In today’s world, it’s easy to feel like everything has to be perfect. Social media is filled with images of flawless weddings, and it can seem like every detail—down to the Jewish wedding decorations—needs to be Instagram-worthy. But chasing perfection can be exhausting. It can take away from the joy of the planning process and cause unnecessary stress.
When you focus too much on making everything perfect, you stop enjoying the experience. You miss out on the excitement of choosing your Jewish wedding music, personalizing your Jewish wedding vows, and even celebrating the love you and your partner share. In the end, what matters most is the commitment you're making to each other, not whether the flowers or the Jewish wedding invitations were exactly how you imagined.
Perfection is a Moving Target
The idea of “perfection” is constantly shifting. What you think is perfect today might change tomorrow, and striving for something that’s always moving will only leave you frustrated. This is why focusing on progress, not perfection, is so important. Celebrate the small victories, like booking your Jewish wedding venue or selecting your Jewish wedding officiant, and recognize that these milestones are steps toward creating your dream day.
Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
Planning a wedding is a big task, and there’s no such thing as a perfect wedding. However, when you focus on progress and the steps you’re taking toward creating a meaningful ceremony, you’ll find much more joy in the process. Every decision, from selecting your Jewish wedding attire to choosing your Jewish wedding traditions, is a step toward making your wedding day special and uniquely yours.
Adam and Michelle’s Story: Progress Over Perfection
Adam and Michelle were a beautiful couple whose Jewish wedding in Toronto I had the honor of officiating. Like many couples, they had high hopes for their big day. They spent months planning everything down to the smallest detail, from the Jewish wedding music to the Jewish wedding chuppah. But as their wedding day approached, they started feeling the pressure to make everything absolutely perfect.
One of the main sources of their stress was comparing their wedding to others they had attended. They wanted their Jewish wedding ceremony to be flawless, and they worried about every detail—from the Jewish wedding ketubah to the timing of the Jewish wedding hora. The weight of these expectations started to take a toll on their excitement and joy.
I reminded them that perfection isn’t the goal. Their wedding day was about celebrating their love and commitment to one another, not about living up to an impossible standard. I encouraged them to focus on the progress they had made in planning such a meaningful day and to let go of the idea that everything had to be flawless.
On the day of their wedding, there were a few small hiccups—there always are! But instead of worrying about those imperfections, Adam and Michelle embraced the joy and meaning of the day. They were surrounded by their loved ones, celebrating with traditional Jewish wedding rituals, dancing the Jewish wedding hora, and focusing on the love they shared. Their wedding wasn’t perfect, but it was beautiful—and most importantly, it was a reflection of who they were as a couple.
The Importance of Embracing Progress
By focusing on progress over perfection, Adam and Michelle were able to fully enjoy their wedding day and appreciate the journey they had taken to get there. And the same lesson can be applied to anyone planning a wedding. Whether you’re choosing your Jewish wedding photographer, planning your baby naming ceremony, or organizing a Jewish newborn ceremony, remember that progress is what matters.
Celebrate Every Win
Every decision you make is a step forward. Did you finalize your Jewish wedding vows? Celebrate that win! Did you find the perfect Jewish wedding cantor? Celebrate again! Each of these steps is part of your journey, and by celebrating each small victory, you can stay focused on what really matters—your love and your unique story.
Conclusion: Progress Over Perfection in Wedding Planning
Perfection is a myth, and chasing it will only add stress to your wedding planning process. Instead, focus on progress and celebrate every step you take toward creating your meaningful Jewish wedding ceremony. Your wedding day is about celebrating your love, your unique journey, and the people who matter most in your life. Don’t let the pursuit of perfection take away from the joy of your special day.
If you’re planning a Jewish wedding in Toronto or need guidance for a baby naming ceremony or other Jewish newborn ceremonies, I’m here to help. As your Jewish wedding officiant, who was mentored by a super Jewish wedding Rabbi, I’m committed to making your ceremony personal, meaningful, and reflective of your love and values—without the pressure of perfection.
Cantor Ben
For more information on Jewish wedding services, Jewish wedding planning, or other ceremonial services, visit BenSilverberg.com.
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