The Quietest Moment That Showed Me What Leadership Really Means (A Jewish Wedding Story)

There’s a story I share often with my Bar and Bat Mitzvah students—one that gets at the heart of what leadership truly is. But today, I want to apply that same story to marriage. Because what I witnessed at the Jewish Wedding Ceremony of Justin and Brooke in Toronto was a living example of emotional intelligence in action.

Let me explain.

Justin and Brooke were in the final stretch of their Jewish Wedding Planning—a flurry of Jewish Wedding Customs, venue confirmations, Ketubah readings, and practicing their vows under the Chuppah. Every detail was coming together beautifully. They’d worked with a talented Jewish Wedding Photographer, chosen the perfect Jewish Wedding Music, and selected stunning Jewish Wedding Decorations for their Jewish Wedding Venue right in the heart of Toronto.

But then—three days before the big day—one of their close friends and bridal party members suddenly went quiet. Missing messages. Withdrawing from the group. Not showing up for rehearsals.

The temptation, of course, was to be frustrated. This person had a role in their Traditional Jewish Wedding, and now, on the eve of their Jewish Wedding Celebrations, they were MIA.

But instead of reacting with blame, Brooke pulled her friend aside and asked one powerful question:

“Hey… is everything okay?”

And just like that, the wall came down. Her friend opened up. There were personal things going on—a family issue, unexpected stress—and she didn’t want to bring it into the joy of the moment.

That quiet moment of empathy shifted everything.

Brooke’s friend felt seen. Heard. Supported.

And she showed up fully the next day—beaming with energy, radiating joy, present not just physically, but emotionally.

It reminded me of what I teach my Coolcantor Hebrew School students every week:

Leadership isn’t about control. It’s about connection.

It’s not about having the loudest voice—it’s about asking the right question.

And that’s why I’m so proud to have been the Jewish Wedding Officiant for Justin and Brooke. Their Jewish Wedding in Toronto wasn’t just beautifully executed with all the traditions—Jewish Wedding Vows, Jewish Wedding Dance, the Hora, the Jewish Wedding Ketubah. It was a Modern Jewish Wedding infused with the soul of Jewish Wedding Rituals and timeless wisdom.

They modeled leadership the way I was mentored to teach it—by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi who passed on to me the importance of compassion in every ceremony and every relationship.

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Jewish Wisdom and Emotional Intelligence

In Jewish Studies Online, we often read about Moses as the leader of our people. But Moses didn’t lead by yelling. He led by listening.

Just like Brooke did.

When I teach students in our Online Bar Mitzvah Lessons or Online Bat Mitzvah Training, I don’t just focus on how to Learn Hebrew Language or chant the Weekly Torah Portion. I teach how to listen. How to pause. How to lead with humility and curiosity.

Because real leadership—in marriage, in friendship, in life—is asking, “What’s going on beneath the surface?”

That’s what made Justin and Brooke’s Jewish Wedding so powerful. They didn’t just honor Jewish Wedding Traditions like the Jewish Wedding Chuppah or the Jewish Wedding Attire—they lived them. They brought holiness into the moment not just with words, but with presence.

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Your Marriage, Your Moment

If you’re preparing for your Jewish Wedding Ceremony—whether it’s a Traditional Jewish Wedding or a more personalized Modern Jewish Wedding—here’s what I’ve learned from couples like Justin and Brooke:

It’s not about perfection. It’s about partnership.

It’s not about showing off. It’s about showing up.

That’s the essence of every Jewish Wedding I officiate—from the Jewish Wedding Invitations you send, to the Jewish Wedding Reception, all the way to the Jewish Baby Naming Services that often follow months or years later.

The journey matters.

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And here’s something you can try right now, whether you’re planning a wedding or simply looking to be a better human:

1. Pause.

The next time someone disappoints you, stop. Don’t assume malice. Assume complexity.

2. Ask.

With kindness and honesty, say: “Hey, is everything okay?” Those five words can shift everything.

3. Lead quietly.

True leaders don’t need the spotlight. They make others feel safe, heard, and whole.

4. Reflect.

Who in your life could use that question right now? Who might be struggling silently, waiting for someone to care enough to notice?

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Jewish Wedding Wisdom That Lasts a Lifetime

Justin and Brooke’s wedding wasn’t just a ceremony. It was a celebration of something far deeper. And as their Jewish Wedding Cantor, I witnessed something beautiful that I see again and again in the couples I guide:

The ones who lead with compassion build marriages that last.

So if you’re planning a Jewish Wedding Toronto celebration… if you’re choosing your Jewish Wedding Officiant, designing your Jewish Wedding Ketubah, or dreaming up the perfect Jewish Wedding Dance under the twinkling lights—remember:

This day is just the beginning.

The real joy comes from how you show up for one another, again and again, long after the Hora ends and the music fades.

I was fortunate and enough to be mentored by an incredible Jewish wedding Rabbi.

And if you ever need support—whether for a Jewish Wedding, a Baby Naming Ceremony Jewish families cherish, or Jewish Newborn Ceremonies that welcome new life into the world—I’m here to help you create sacred moments that mean something.

Because that’s what I do.

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With gratitude,

Cantor Ben Silverberg