As Rosh Hashanah approaches, the Jewish New Year, I’ve been reflecting deeply on the habits I need to change to lead a more fulfilling life. A few days ago, my five-year-old son looked up at me with those big, earnest eyes and asked, “Daddy, can you put down your phone and play with me?” That moment hit me hard. It wasn’t just a plea for attention—it was a wake-up call.
I realized that time with him isn’t just something nice—it’s essential. Just like food and water, these moments are what nourish our relationships and build our future. This New Year, it’s not just about breaking bad habits—it’s about building the good ones. Whether it’s being present, exercising, or spending quality time with loved ones, let’s make those moments non-negotiable. Our time and attention are the most valuable gifts we can give.
Lessons from Lindsay and Jake’s Wedding
To illustrate this lesson, let me share the story of Lindsay and Jake, a Jewish wedding couple I had the honor of officiating in Toronto. Their Jewish Wedding Ceremony was a beautiful blend of tradition and modernity, reflecting their unique personalities and shared values. However, amidst the excitement and planning, Lindsay and Jake faced a common challenge: balancing their busy lives with the desire to create meaningful moments together.
Embracing Presence in Wedding Planning
Lindsay and Jake were committed to making their wedding day special, not just for themselves but for their families and friends. They wanted their ceremony to be a true reflection of their love and commitment, without getting lost in the stress of perfection. As their Jewish Wedding Cantor who was mentored by an amazing Jewish wedding Rabbi, I encouraged them to focus on what truly matters—being present and enjoying each step of the journey.
They decided to incorporate daily check-ins into their wedding planning process. Whether it was a quick phone call during lunch breaks or a dedicated evening to discuss their progress, Lindsay and Jake made it a habit to stay connected amidst their hectic schedules. This consistency not only strengthened their relationship but also made the planning process more enjoyable and less stressful.
Building Positive Habits for a Strong Marriage
Just as I strive to build positive habits in my own life, Lindsay and Jake focused on creating habits that would support their marriage long after the wedding day. They established routines such as:
1. Weekly Date Nights: No matter how busy they were, Lindsay and Jake reserved one night each week for a date night. This dedicated time allowed them to reconnect, share their thoughts, and enjoy each other's company without distractions.
2. Daily Expressions of Love: They made it a habit to express their love and appreciation for one another every day. Simple gestures like a heartfelt message, a small gift, or a loving hug became part of their daily routine, reinforcing their bond.
3. Mindful Communication: They practiced mindful communication, ensuring that their conversations were meaningful and respectful. This habit helped them navigate any conflicts with grace and understanding, fostering a strong foundation for their marriage.
The Importance of Consistency
Consistency is the secret ingredient to success in almost any area of life. Whether you’re learning a new skill, striving for better health, or working on personal growth, small, consistent actions add up over time and lead to mastery and long-term achievements. This lesson is particularly relevant in marriage, where consistent effort and attention can transform a relationship from good to great.
My Personal Journey with Consistent Habits
On a personal note, I started to notice myself gaining weight during my teen years. It was puzzling because I didn’t think I was eating more than usual. A visit to the doctor revealed that as we age, our metabolism changes, and without regular exercise, it’s easy to gain weight. The doctor advised me to make exercise a part of my daily routine—not just for losing weight but for maintaining a healthy body and a clear mind.
I committed to finding 30 minutes each day to work out. Whether it was during lunch breaks or in the late afternoon, I made it a non-negotiable part of my day. I set alarms on my phone to remind me, making it easier to stick to my routine. It wasn’t always fun or easy to go on the elliptical in the basement, but once I got into the habit, I felt great. I started drinking more water and making healthier eating choices. Over time, I lost the weight and, more importantly, felt better about myself both physically and mentally. This commitment to daily exercise became a cornerstone of my well-being.
Applying Consistent Habits to Marriage
Just as consistent exercise transformed my health, consistent habits can transform a marriage. Lindsay and Jake’s wedding planning and their subsequent marriage are perfect examples of how small, positive habits can lead to a strong and loving relationship. By prioritizing their time together and building habits that support their connection, they laid a solid foundation for their future.
Building a Strong Foundation with Jewish Wedding Traditions
Jewish weddings are rich with traditions and rituals that emphasize the importance of unity, commitment, and community. From the Jewish Wedding Chuppah to the Jewish Wedding Ketubah, each element of the ceremony is designed to strengthen the bond between the couple and their families.
Incorporating Traditions into Daily Life
Lindsay and Jake didn’t just incorporate these traditions into their wedding day; they also integrated the underlying values into their daily lives. They embraced the lessons of the Torah Portion, applying them to their relationship and personal growth. This holistic approach ensured that their marriage was not only a celebration but a continuous journey of growth and mutual support.
The Role of a Jewish Wedding Cantor
As a Jewish Wedding Cantor, my role is not only to officiate the ceremony but also to guide couples in building meaningful and lasting relationships. I work with couples like Lindsay and Jake to help them incorporate Jewish values and traditions into their lives, fostering a deep sense of connection and purpose.
Final Thoughts: Prioritize What Matters
The moment my son begged me to put down my phone and play with him changed everything for me. It reminded me that the most valuable gift we can give to our loved ones is our time and attention. Just as Lindsay and Jake prioritized their relationship through consistent habits and meaningful traditions, we too can create stronger, more fulfilling relationships by focusing on what truly matters.
This Rosh Hashanah, let’s commit to building good habits that nourish our relationships and personal growth. Whether it’s being present with loved ones, exercising regularly, or dedicating time to personal development, these consistent actions will lead to long-term happiness and success.
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