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Netflix and Chill?

Updated: Sep 18



I met a bride and groom recently who wanted to talk with me about time. Time in the context of a relationship and how time together can strengthen a marriage. When Jewish couples come to me to officiate their Jewish wedding, we don’t just talk about the ceremony itself and all the elements that go into a Jewish wedding ceremony, as a Cantor who has married many brides and grooms, we also dive deep into marriage and relationships.

Relationships don’t work without time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together. And quality time rarely happens when quantity time is absent.


The relationship with your spouse should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in a while wouldn’t hurt either.

The relationship with your spouse should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in a while wouldn’t hurt either.

There are many ways you can spend quality time with your significant other. Usually, quality time is associated with long periods of resting or traveling, like going on a holiday together. However, there is no rule that states that it’s the only way to spend quality time.

It’s perfectly possible to have high-quality moments with your loved one without going anywhere extravagant and fancy or doing elaborate activities. Going for a walk in the park or enjoying a coffee break together are a couple of examples. Even as simple as staying indoors and watching movies together can already count as spending quality time with your partner.

Contrary to what other people might say, spending too much time with your partner is entirely possible. While you might be excited to spend all your time with your partner and share all of your experiences with them, it’s necessary to take time for yourself and other things in your life that make you happy.


So, how much quality time should couples spend with each other? According to relationship counselor Silva Neves, the answer to this question depends on the couple.


It would be ideal for a busy couple who has little time to spare to have a meaningful contact or interaction first thing in the day. This could be a meaningful hug or kiss.


Sending a few texts to each other during the day is also possible to re-establish your connection to each other. These are small things that make a difference in your relationship.


The important thing is to strike a balance between quality time with each other and quality time with yourself and other people. Too little time spent together could take a toll on your relationship, while too much time spent in each other’s company could end up draining all your energy, not to mention decreasing the time you spend with other people and other aspects of your life.


To find that balance, it’s important to recognize your needs as an individual and respect that you and your partner might have differences. Communication is also key. Checking in with your partner and creating a balance that both of you are comfortable keeping can go a long way.


My bride and groom really felt good having this discussion with me prior to their wedding. They expressed appreciation that we didn’t just cover the basic Jewish wedding criteria of a ceremony but went a little deeper into what can help make a solid and long lasting marriage.

A Jewish wedding ceremony has a finite beginning and end, but I want to help prepare my couples for a lifetime of love and marriage.

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