How Failure Can Spark a Stronger Marriage: A Lesson from Alexis and Jonny’s Jewish Wedding in Toronto

When most people think about failure, they think about defeat.

But failure—real, painful, discouraging failure—is actually the spark behind some of the most powerful stories of resilience, success, and love.

Let me explain, with the help of one of my favorite stories and a very special couple—Alexis and Jonny, whose Jewish Wedding in Toronto I had the honour of officiating.

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The Lightbulb That Took 10,000 Tries

There’s a story I love telling my students—and the couples I work with as a Jewish Wedding Cantor.

It’s about Thomas Edison. Yes, the man who invented the lightbulb.

But what most people don’t realize?

He failed 10,000 times before he got it right.

Ten. Thousand. Times.

He didn’t just stumble once or twice. He failed more than most people are willing to try.

But he didn’t stop.

Instead of quitting, he famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

That mindset? That’s what separates the average from the extraordinary.

And it’s something Alexis and Jonny reminded me of, too.

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How a Jewish Wedding Teaches Resilience

Alexis and Jonny planned their beautiful Jewish Wedding Ceremony at a stunning Jewish Wedding Venue in Toronto. They came to me not just for the traditions—the Jewish Wedding Chuppah, the Jewish Wedding Ketubah, and the joyful Jewish Wedding Hora.

They wanted something deeper.

During our sessions together, they were open, honest, and deeply connected to the meaning behind every ritual. They wanted a Jewish Wedding Officiant who could teach—not just recite—and bring ancient Jewish Wedding Customs to life in a way that would guide their marriage, not just their wedding day.

They told me openly: they had struggled. Their relationship wasn’t “perfect.” They’d faced setbacks in their careers, their communication, and their families’ expectations. But here’s what moved me…

They didn’t run.

They used those struggles to learn how to fight for each other. To say “I’m sorry.” To try again. To listen more. To become partners—not just spouses.

And like Edison, they saw failure not as final—but formative.

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Jewish Wisdom: Not Just for the Ceremony

As a Jewish Wedding Cantor who was mentored by a great Jewish Wedding Rabbi, I always explain to couples that the real meaning of the Jewish Wedding Ceremony isn’t just under the chuppah.

It’s in how we respond when the music fades and life gets real.

That’s why Jewish Wedding Traditions—from breaking the glass to reciting Jewish Wedding Vows—are more than symbolic. They’re training.

Jewish Wedding Services teach us that the relationship is the beginning of the covenant, not the conclusion.

Like Edison’s lightbulb, it’s not about getting it perfect the first time.

It’s about coming back to the table, time and again, and building something brighter, together.

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Action Steps for Resilience (For Life and Love)

1. Keep a “Failure Journal” Together

Whether you’re planning a wedding or just started your marriage, try this: at the end of each week, write down one thing that went wrong—and what you learned from it. Couples who grow together, stay together.

2. Ask: “What’s Our Edison Moment?”

What’s something you’ve almost given up on? Whether it’s Jewish Wedding Planning, a difficult family relationship, or your communication style—what would one more try look like?

3. Adopt the Mantra: “One Step Closer”

Every disagreement? One step closer to understanding.

Every stress? One step closer to learning how to support each other.

Every challenge? One step closer to becoming unshakable.

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Why I Love What I Do

Helping Alexis and Jonny through their Traditional Jewish Wedding reminded me why I do this work.

Being a Jewish Wedding Officiant means more than leading a beautiful Jewish Wedding Celebration.

It means preparing couples to thrive through Jewish Wedding Rituals, Jewish Wedding Traditions, and meaningful conversations about life, growth, and failure.

From their Jewish Wedding Music and Jewish Wedding Invitations to the Jewish Wedding Dance, Alexis and Jonny embraced every detail with intention.

They even began thinking about their future—hoping to one day invite me to lead their Jewish Baby Naming Ceremony or Jewish Newborn Ceremony when that time comes.

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Final Thought

The world doesn’t reward people who get everything right.

It rewards those who stay in the game.

Your Jewish Wedding isn’t just a celebration—it’s a launchpad.

And like Edison, like Alexis and Jonny, like every couple I’m lucky to work with…

You don’t have to get it right the first time.

You just have to keep going.

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Whether you’re planning a Jewish Wedding in Toronto, exploring Jewish Wedding Services, or dreaming of your Jewish Wedding Reception full of music, love, and the Hora—I’m here to help.

And if you’re already picturing your future family, I’d be honoured to help with your Jewish Baby Naming Services, too.

Let’s light the way forward—together.

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Cantor Ben Silverberg

Jewish Wedding Cantor | Life Coach | Teacher of Torah That Transforms