How Can I Make My Jewish Wedding Ceremony Personal, Not Just Traditional?

By Cantor Ben | Jewish Wedding Officiant in Toronto

When Mark and Jessica first reached out to me, they were clear on one thing: they wanted a Jewish wedding ceremony that felt personal, not just traditional. As a Jewish wedding officiant in Toronto, I hear this often from couples who care deeply about their heritage but also want the ceremony to reflect their unique love story, personality, and values.

They had attended plenty of traditional Jewish weddings, each meaningful in its own right, but they feared that theirs might feel like “just another ceremony.” They wanted laughter. They wanted tears. They wanted their guests to say, “Wow. That was so them.”

Let me share how we created a deeply meaningful, joy-filled, and personal Jewish wedding in Toronto—and how you can too.

The Personal Touch Begins With Your Story

When I met Mark and Jessica at their favourite coffee shop in midtown Toronto, I didn’t bring a template or a script. I brought a question:

“Tell me about your relationship like it’s a story you’re proud to share.”

Mark talked about their first meeting on a Birthright trip. Jessica shared how their relationship had grown through years of Shabbat dinners, dance parties in the kitchen, and showing up for one another in tough times. We laughed. We got teary. And from those conversations, the Jewish wedding ceremony began to take shape.

When crafting a personal Jewish wedding, this is where I always start. Before rituals or blessings, before venues or playlists, the foundation is your love story.

What Makes a Jewish Wedding Ceremony Truly Personal?

Let’s walk through how Mark and Jessica created a modern Jewish wedding that respected Jewish wedding customs while also celebrating their individuality.

1. The Jewish Wedding Ketubah

Their Jewish wedding Ketubah was custom-designed by a local Toronto artist and included a quote from their favorite poet. They chose language that reflected their values: kindness, partnership, and growth. I reminded them that the Ketubah is not just a legal document, but a spiritual vision for your life together.

As a Jewish wedding cantor, I guide couples through this process with care. I’m not a Rabbi, but I was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi, and I carry that wisdom into every ceremony I officiate.

2. The Chuppah

Mark and Jessica’s Jewish wedding chuppah was made from Jessica’s late grandfather’s tallit, draped lovingly across four hand-carved poles. Each pole was held by someone meaningful—a grandparent, a cousin, a childhood friend, and Mark’s younger brother.

That chuppah wasn’t just beautiful. It told a story.

3. The Jewish Wedding Vows

While traditional Jewish weddings don’t typically include personal vows, I always tell couples that meaningful additions are welcome—so long as they complement, not replace, the core Jewish wedding rituals. Mark and Jessica each wrote short, heartfelt vows that were read just before the Sheva Brachot. There wasn’t a dry eye in sight.

Modern Jewish Weddings, Rooted in Tradition

Some people think that to personalize a Jewish wedding, you have to stray from tradition. That’s simply not true. A wedding can be personal and traditional at the same time.

In Mark and Jessica’s ceremony, we included the breaking of the glass, the circling ritual, the Sheva Brachot, and the Jewish wedding dance known as the hora. We had beautiful Jewish wedding music, played live on violin and guitar. The Jewish wedding photographer they chose captured every smile, every tear, and every dance move with artistic sensitivity.

The difference was that every moment meant something personal to them.

The Right Planning Makes All the Difference

From Jewish wedding invitations to Jewish wedding attire, everything reflected Mark and Jessica’s personalities. The Jewish wedding venue they chose was a gorgeous event space in downtown Toronto with large windows and golden evening light. The decor blended elegance with warmth. Their Jewish wedding decorations included handwritten notes at each seat and a family photo table honoring generations before them.

The Jewish wedding reception had heartfelt toasts, incredible food, and a high-energy Jewish wedding hora that had everyone—young and old—on the dance floor.

When couples work with me, I also help with aspects of Jewish wedding planning, sharing insights from my years officiating in Toronto and my deep understanding of Jewish wedding traditions.

Honoring the Sacredness of the Ceremony

One value I hold firm: I will only officiate for Jewish couples who sign both their Jewish wedding Ketubah and the Ontario civil marriage license on the same day. This ensures the ceremony is spiritually meaningful and legally binding, just as our tradition upholds.

If you’re looking for a Jewish wedding cantor who brings deep care, tradition, and personalization, I would be honored to help craft your ceremony.

From Wedding to Family Milestones

It was a beautiful surprise when, a year after the wedding, Mark and Jessica reached out again—this time about a baby naming ceremony for their daughter, Lila.

I had the privilege of leading their Jewish newborn ceremony, weaving in family stories and blessings. It was intimate, heartfelt, and deeply joyful.

Just as with weddings, Jewish baby naming services can be customized to reflect your family’s traditions and personality. Whether you’re planning a baby naming ceremony Jewish style in your home or at a synagogue, I offer full support—from the baby naming invitation to the ceremony music to the celebration itself.

Some of the most special moments in my career have been watching couples like Mark and Jessica grow from planning a wedding to celebrating their growing family. From Jewish baby naming rituals to Jewish baby naming receptions, I’m here to support every step of the journey.

Final Thoughts: Let Your Love Lead

If you’re planning your Jewish wedding in Toronto, and you want a ceremony that reflects your personality while staying true to your faith, here’s my advice:

Let your love lead the way.

Tradition is your compass. Personalization is your voice.

Whether you want an intimate backyard ceremony or a grand ballroom celebration, I will walk with you, guide you, and help make the moment unforgettable.

Ready to Make Your Jewish Wedding Personal?

If you’re seeking a Jewish wedding officiant who brings warmth, wisdom, and personal attention to every ceremony, I’d love to connect. Let’s co-create a wedding experience that reflects your story, your values, and your joy.

Visit BenSilverberg.com to learn more or to schedule a consultation.