Forgiveness, Freedom, and Love: Lessons From Mandy and Chad’s Jewish Wedding

The Heavy Backpack We All Carry

Have you ever worn a heavy backpack for too long? At first, it feels manageable. You tell yourself you can handle it. But after a while, it starts to weigh you down. Your shoulders ache, your back stiffens, and suddenly you feel stuck.

That is what resentment does to your mind and heart.

Years ago, someone I trusted spoke behind my back. When I found out, it stung. I replayed the moment in my head again and again. I thought of what I should have said, how I could defend myself, how I would respond next time.

But here is the truth: they were not replaying it. Only I was. And each time I hit that mental replay button, I drained more of my own energy, peace, and joy.

Carrying resentment is like carrying that heavy backpack. Eventually, it becomes impossible to move forward.

Yom Kippur and the Gift of Teshuvah

Jewish tradition gives us a roadmap for this struggle. On Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year, we focus on teshuvah — return. Not just returning to God, but returning to our best selves.

Teshuvah is not about perfection. It is about honesty. It is about taking an honest look at where we have fallen short, who we have hurt, and even who we have allowed to hurt us. And then choosing to release the weight, learn the lesson, and move forward with strength.

Forgiveness, in this tradition, is not weakness. It is strength. It is the ability to say, “I will not carry your mistake anymore. I have a life to live.”

A Wedding Story: Mandy and Chad in Toronto

I thought about this lesson recently while reflecting on a wedding I had the honor of officiating for Mandy and Chad, a Jewish couple from Toronto. Their Jewish Wedding Ceremony was a beautiful blend of Jewish Wedding Traditions and their own unique personalities.

They stood under a breathtaking Jewish Wedding Chuppah, surrounded by family and friends. The Jewish Wedding Music played softly as the guests took their seats, and the photographer captured each smile, each moment of anticipation.

As their Jewish Wedding Cantor, I was there to guide them through each ritual. The Jewish Wedding Ketubah was signed with joy, the blessings were recited, and when Mandy circled Chad seven times, you could feel generations of tradition echoing in that sacred space.

What struck me most was the way they approached their wedding with a spirit of letting go. Weddings can be stressful — there are always details that go differently than planned, whether it is the timing, the Jewish Wedding Decorations, or the music cue. But Mandy and Chad made a choice: they chose forgiveness and grace in the small moments, knowing the bigger picture was love.

That is what made their Jewish Wedding Toronto celebration so powerful. It was not just about rituals or customs. It was about beginning their marriage with a heart free of unnecessary weight.

Why Forgiveness Matters in Marriage

The truth is, resentment does not just appear in friendships or workplaces. It can also creep into marriage. When couples let small frustrations build up, they are tossing rocks into that backpack every single day.

Successful couples, like Mandy and Chad, learn to empty the backpack quickly. They practice curiosity instead of judgment. They choose to ask, “What else could be going on here?” instead of assuming the worst. That is what makes a Traditional Jewish Wedding or even a Modern Jewish Wedding so meaningful — it is not only about the day itself but about the mindset couples carry forward into their lives together.

This is why I always remind couples that forgiveness is not a one-time act. It is a lifelong habit.

A Life Coaching Perspective

From my perspective as a teacher and Life Coach, forgiveness is one of the greatest life skills a person can learn.

Think of resentment like holding a rope in a tug-of-war. The other person may have dropped their end years ago, but you are still pulling, straining, wasting your strength. Forgiveness means letting go of the rope. Not to excuse the hurt, but to stop hurting yourself.

When I teach students in preparation for their Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah, I often emphasize that leadership begins with taking responsibility for your own heart. If you want to step into adulthood with confidence, you cannot be weighed down by bitterness. You must free yourself to lead, to love, and to serve.

Beyond Weddings: Baby Naming and New Beginnings

The same principle of release and renewal is evident in other milestones I have the privilege of leading. Whether it is officiating a baby naming ceremony Jewish, planning a Jewish newborn ceremony, or guiding parents through a Jewish Baby Naming Celebration, the theme is always the same.

These moments are about starting fresh. They are about committing to a future filled with hope, not weighed down by the burdens of the past. Families who come together for a baby naming ceremony know that this is more than a ritual. It is a promise to raise a child in an atmosphere of love, forgiveness, and growth.

My Own Journey

I am often asked why I became a Jewish Wedding Officiant and why I devote myself to these moments of transition. The answer is simple: I was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi. From him, I learned not only the laws and customs of a Jewish Wedding Ceremony, but the heart behind them.

I am not a Rabbi. I am a Cantor. But as a Jewish Wedding Cantor, I carry forward the wisdom he instilled in me. Wisdom about compassion, forgiveness, and strength. Wisdom about how to help couples like Mandy and Chad step into their marriage with courage and clarity.

Your Challenge This Week

Think about your own relationships. Is there someone you are still holding resentment toward? Imagine the weight of that backpack on your shoulders. Now imagine setting it down.

Here is a challenge:

1. Identify one person you still feel resentment toward.

2. Write down what you are carrying.

3. Make the decision — not to excuse, but to release.

Forgiveness is not about them. It is about you.

Final Thought

When Mandy and Chad celebrated their Jewish Wedding Reception, they were not just celebrating love. They were celebrating freedom. The freedom to forgive, to let go, and to move forward.

That is the lesson we all need, whether at a Jewish Wedding Ceremony, a Jewish Baby Naming Service, or in the quiet moments of our everyday lives.

Resentment is heavy. Forgiveness is light. This Yom Kippur and beyond, choose peace over poison. Take off the backpack.

And remember: every ritual, every tradition, every celebration in Jewish life is not just about marking time. It is about becoming our best selves, lighter, freer, stronger.