What Should We Wear to Our Jewish Wedding and Does It Have to Be Traditional?

By Cantor Ben

When Ashley and Jason first reached out to me about officiating their Jewish wedding Toronto, they were beaming with excitement. They had found their person, booked a beautiful Jewish wedding venue in the city, and were ready to begin planning the most meaningful celebration of their lives. But when we got on our initial Zoom call, Ashley leaned in and said with a laugh, “We have no idea what to wear. And do I have to wear a traditional white dress? Is Jason supposed to wear a yarmulke and black tuxedo?”

This is a very common question. In fact, many couples today want a wedding ceremony that reflects both their Jewish heritage and their personal style. So let’s talk about Jewish wedding attire, what is expected, what is flexible, and how to make confident clothing choices for your ceremony that feel meaningful and true to you.

Understanding the Tradition

At its heart, a Jewish wedding is a sacred ceremony filled with beautiful symbolism and ancient customs. From standing under the chuppah to signing the ketubah, each element carries deep spiritual meaning. Historically, traditional Jewish wedding attire has included a white dress for the bride to represent purity and a dark suit or tuxedo for the groom to signify dignity. A yarmulke or kippah is often worn as a sign of reverence and humility before God.

But tradition is only one layer. Jewish wedding services are also very much about joy, celebration, and personalization. That means you can honor the rituals while also making them your own.

Ashley and Jason’s Story

Ashley and Jason wanted a joyful blend of traditional and modern. Their ceremony took place at a gorgeous Jewish wedding venue in Toronto surrounded by close family, friends, and their hilarious golden doodle who made a surprise appearance during the photos. They wanted meaningful Jewish wedding rituals like circling, breaking the glass, and reciting personal Jewish wedding vows. But they also wanted their personalities to shine.

Ashley wore a stunning ivory jumpsuit with delicate lace detail. It had pockets and movement and made her feel powerful. Jason chose a charcoal grey suit with brown leather shoes and a soft linen kippah. Their wedding party included a mix of cocktail dresses and tailored suits. The result was stylish, respectful, and very much “them.”

As their Jewish wedding cantor, I helped them integrate these modern touches while still keeping the integrity of the Jewish wedding ceremony.

So What Should You Wear?

Let’s look at the most common attire questions and how to navigate them.

Does the bride have to wear white?

No. White symbolizes purity, but modern Jewish weddings often see brides in ivory, champagne, blush, or even floral patterns. What matters most is that you feel beautiful and at ease.

Does the groom have to wear a kippah?

In a Jewish wedding ceremony, it is customary for the groom to wear a kippah. Many grooms also wear a tallit, especially during the Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings). Some couples offer kippahs to all male guests, and even female guests who wish to wear one. You can personalize the kippahs with your names or wedding date if you like.

What if our style is more boho or casual?

Then let that shine. I have officiated Jewish wedding celebrations where guests arrived barefoot on the beach and others where the event was black tie. I have seen embroidered shawls from grandparents in Tel Aviv and hand-sewn suits from an Etsy artist in Brooklyn. Your attire should reflect the mood of your celebration. Talk to your Jewish wedding photographer ahead of time so your attire works beautifully with your venue and lighting.

What if one or both of us are not religious?

Great question. You do not have to be observant to have a meaningful and authentic Jewish wedding. Many of the couples I work with are culturally Jewish but not affiliated with a synagogue. What matters is your respect for tradition and your desire to stand under the chuppah together in a sacred moment of commitment.

I am a Jewish wedding officiant, not a Rabbi, but I was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi who taught me that the most important thing is kavannah. That is the Hebrew word for heartfelt intention. Whether your dress code is formal or relaxed, your ceremony will be deeply meaningful if you approach it with love, reverence, and joy.

Legal and Spiritual Authority

It is important to clarify something else. As a Cantor, I am fully authorized to officiate Jewish weddings. I am also licensed by the Province of Ontario to legally marry couples in a civil capacity. So when I officiate a wedding, it is both kosher and legal. You will sign the Jewish ketubah under the chuppah and also your Ontario civil marriage license. Both your Jewish identity and your legal union are honored and recognized.

Planning with Confidence

Here are a few tips I always share with couples when choosing wedding attire:

1. Start with your vision. Do you imagine a garden ceremony, a chic downtown loft, or a traditional synagogue celebration? Let the venue and vibe guide your clothing choices.

2. Involve your photographer. Jewish wedding photographers know how to work with light, fabric, and movement. Show them your outfit ideas in advance and ask for advice.

3. Comfort is key. You will be standing, dancing, hugging relatives, and possibly wearing that outfit for 8 hours or more. Make sure you can move, breathe, and enjoy yourself.

4. Respect the customs but make it yours. Jewish wedding traditions like wearing a kippah or veil can be adapted with your own flair. I have seen velvet kippahs, embroidered veils, and even floral crowns.

From Chuppah to Cradle

And yes, if you are already thinking ahead to your future family, I also offer Jewish baby naming services. Whether you are welcoming a child through birth, adoption, or surrogacy, I provide meaningful Jewish newborn ceremonies that honor your family story. These include Jewish baby naming invitations, music, blessings, and customs tailored to your values. From your Jewish wedding celebration to your Jewish baby naming celebration, I am honored to walk with you.

Final Thought

What you wear to your Jewish wedding should make you feel like the best version of yourself. It should reflect your love, your values, and your joy. Whether traditional, modern, or somewhere in between, your attire becomes part of your story.

If you are planning a Jewish wedding in Toronto or anywhere in Ontario, I would love to connect with you. As a Jewish wedding cantor, I bring warmth, guidance, and meaning to every ceremony. Together, we will make it unforgettable.