Time Vampires and the Lessons of Marriage: Building a Future with Presence

Hi, I’m Cantor Ben. Over the years I have been honored to officiate many weddings across Toronto, and each ceremony teaches me something profound about life, love, and leadership.

When I met Sid and Jack, a wonderful Jewish couple from Toronto, I saw two people who were not just preparing for a wedding, but for a marriage. They knew that their Jewish Wedding Ceremony wasn’t simply about the flowers, music, or even the Jewish Wedding Chuppah they would stand under. It was about creating a foundation for a lifetime.

And one of the most powerful lessons we spoke about together was the importance of protecting their most valuable asset—time.

What Are Time Vampires?

In life, there are distractions everywhere. I call them “time vampires.” They are the tiny, sneaky thieves that steal our hours without us even realizing it.

Think about it:• The endless scroll on social media when you could be building memories with family.• The colleague who always needs “just a minute” of your time, that turns into thirty.• The endless errands, gossip, or busywork that look important but leave you drained.

Every time we let these distractions win, we lose something. And in marriage, in family, and even in business, the cost is high.

The Lesson for Families

When I work with children in my CoolCantor program, I teach them to spot and eliminate time vampires early. Because the truth is, if they do not learn to master their time when they are young, they grow into adults who are constantly behind, constantly stressed, and constantly missing opportunities.

It is the same in marriage. Sid and Jack knew that a successful partnership means setting boundaries. They wanted their Jewish Wedding Toronto experience to not only celebrate their love but to set the tone for their future together.

By honoring the Jewish Wedding Traditions—from signing the Jewish Wedding Ketubah, to circling each other under the chuppah, to dancing the joyous Jewish Wedding Hora—they created not just a day of celebration, but a covenant. That covenant requires guarding time, attention, and focus from whatever threatens to drain it.

Why Time Boundaries Matter

The world is noisy. Without boundaries, couples, families, and even communities can lose sight of what matters most.

When children allow time vampires to win, they lose confidence, opportunities, and reputation. When couples allow time vampires to win, they lose connection, intimacy, and growth.

That is why in every Jewish Wedding Ceremony, I remind couples: the sacred pauses, the moments of prayer, the intentional rituals are not just for show. They are a reminder to slow down, to cut out distraction, and to give your full self to one another.

Jewish Wisdom on Time

Our tradition understands time deeply. Shabbat, for example, is not about adding more to our schedules. It is about reclaiming time from the world. It is about saying no to the vampires of busyness and yes to presence, love, and connection.

That is why many couples I have married, including Sid and Jack, later invite me back to lead a baby naming ceremony when they welcome a new child. A baby naming ceremony Jewish families create is not simply about giving a name. It is about giving the gift of belonging, heritage, and intentional time spent in blessing.

These Jewish newborn ceremonies remind us that life moves quickly, but we always have the power to pause, to mark the moment, and to make time sacred.

Sid and Jack’s Celebration

Their Jewish Wedding Reception was filled with music, laughter, and joy. There was beautiful Jewish Wedding Music, stunning Jewish Wedding Decorations, and even personalized Jewish Wedding Invitations that spoke to their story.

But what stood out the most was not the beauty of the venue or the delicious food. It was their ability to be fully present with each other and with their guests. No phones, no distractions. Just love.

This is what makes a wedding unforgettable. Not just the Jewish Wedding Photographer capturing the kiss, or the Jewish Wedding Dance under the stars, but the presence.

Applying This to Parenting and Leadership

As a Jewish Wedding Cantor, mentored by a great Jewish Wedding Rabbi, I am privileged to bring the same lessons I teach couples into my work with children.

When I lead kids through Torah study or confidence coaching, I tell them: “Guard your time like your future depends on it—because it does.”

When I mentor couples preparing for marriage, I tell them: “Guard your time together like your love depends on it—because it does.”

The principle is the same. Whether it is a child preparing for a Bar Mitzvah, or a couple preparing for a lifetime together, success depends on cutting out the vampires and focusing on what gives life.

Action Steps for Your Family

If you are reading this as a parent, a couple, or someone preparing for marriage, here are three ways to reclaim your time:

1.Spot the Vampire

If it drains your energy, derails your plan, or delays your goals, name it. Awareness is power.

2.Set the Boundary

In marriage, it might sound like: “Let’s have dinner without our phones.” With children, it might be: “Finish homework before video games.”

3.Replace with Power Time

Use those reclaimed minutes for something life-giving. Read stories together, practice gratitude, or revisit your Jewish Wedding Vows and the promises they represent.

Why This Matters for Weddings and Beyond

A wedding is one day. A marriage is a lifetime. The way you treat your time determines whether your story will be filled with joy or regret.

Sid and Jack’s Traditional Jewish Wedding reminded me that when couples protect their time and focus, they thrive. The same is true when families gather for a Jewish Baby Naming Celebration, when they invite a Jewish Baby Naming Officiant to bless a child, or when they prepare for any major life milestone.

Time is always the real gift. Guard it. Cherish it. Celebrate it.

Final Thought

Time vampires are everywhere, but so is your power to stop them.

Whether you are raising children, building a marriage, or preparing for a Jewish Wedding Ceremony, the lesson is the same: presence is power.

I was mentored by a great Jewish Wedding Rabbi, and today as a Cantor, I carry forward that wisdom—not just in rituals, but in the way I guide people to live with intention.

So if you are planning a Jewish Wedding in Toronto, or preparing for a baby naming ceremony, let’s connect. Together, we can create a moment that not only celebrates love but sets the tone for a lifetime free of time vampires, full of purpose, and overflowing with joy.

Thanks,Ben