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Stop Dwelling and Embrace Joy: A Lesson for Weddings and Life

Ben Silverberg

Updated: Jan 29

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned as a Jewish Wedding Cantor is how important it is to let go of past mistakes and focus on the joy and possibilities of the present. This wisdom applies to everything in life, but it resonates deeply when I think about couples I’ve had the honor of marrying in beautiful Jewish wedding ceremonies across Toronto.




I remember a poignant conversation I had with Justine and Adam, a wonderful couple I worked with for their stunning Jewish wedding in Toronto. During the planning stages of their wedding, Justine shared how she couldn’t stop dwelling on a past mistake she had made at work. She told me, “I feel like I let everyone down, and I can’t move past it.” It’s a sentiment we all feel at times, isn’t it? That heavy weight of regret, the endless replaying of something we wish we could change.


As I prepared to guide them through their Jewish wedding services, I shared with her a metaphor that has stayed with me: “Dwelling on a mistake is like carrying a heavy backpack full of rocks. Every time you replay that mistake, you add another rock. Over time, the weight becomes unbearable, and you can’t move forward. The key to freedom is taking off the backpack, one rock at a time.”


The Beauty of Letting Go in Jewish Weddings


Justine and Adam’s story reflects a powerful truth about the journey to the Jewish chuppah, a central part of the Jewish wedding traditions. The chuppah symbolizes a new beginning—a home built together with love, understanding, and forgiveness. Standing beneath it, surrounded by their family and friends, they embraced a future free from the burdens of the past.


Jewish weddings are filled with meaningful rituals that remind us to focus on what truly matters. The Jewish wedding ceremony, with its timeless customs like the signing of the Jewish wedding ketubah and the breaking of the glass, teaches us to honor the past while stepping boldly into the future. These rituals remind couples—and all of us—to let go of what no longer serves us and to build a life rooted in love, respect, and shared goals.


How Jewish Wedding Traditions Help Us Move Forward


In Jewish culture, we celebrate life’s milestones with rituals that carry deep meaning. From the joy of a baby naming ceremony Jewish families treasure, to the grandeur of a Jewish wedding reception, every tradition encourages us to embrace the present and create a brighter future.


For example:


•The Jewish wedding hora, where couples are lifted high into the air on chairs, symbolizes the uplifting power of community and joy.

•The Jewish wedding vows, spoken beneath the Jewish wedding chuppah, are a commitment to love and support each other, even in challenging times.

•The signing of the Jewish wedding ketubah, an ancient and sacred tradition, reflects the couple’s partnership and shared responsibilities.


These rituals don’t just mark a moment—they remind us that life is about building something meaningful together and letting go of anything that holds us back.


Practical Tips to Stop Dwelling and Embrace Joy


1.Reframe Your Mistake

As I told Justine, “Your mistake isn’t your story—it’s just a chapter.” Focus on the lesson, not the failure. Whether you’re planning a traditional Jewish wedding or navigating life’s challenges, remember that every misstep is an opportunity to grow.


2.Celebrate New Beginnings

Just as Justine and Adam celebrated their love through their Jewish wedding celebrations, you can use life’s milestones to start fresh. Whether it’s a baby naming ceremony or a wedding, these moments are opportunities to focus on the future and let go of the past.


3.Surround Yourself with Support

During their wedding planning, Justine and Adam leaned on their community for support. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift you is essential, whether it’s family, friends, or a trusted Jewish wedding officiant.


4.Focus on Joyful Rituals

Jewish traditions like the Jewish wedding dance or the breaking of the glass teach us to embrace the bittersweet nature of life and focus on what truly matters. Incorporating rituals into your life—whether religious or personal—can help you let go of negativity and focus on positivity.


How Letting Go Can Transform Your Marriage


Justine and Adam’s wedding wasn’t just a celebration of their love—it was a turning point. By the time they stood beneath their Jewish wedding chuppah, they had let go of the past and embraced the joy of building their future together.


The same principle applies to all aspects of life. Whether you’re planning a Jewish wedding ceremony, welcoming a new child through a Jewish newborn ceremony, or simply navigating life’s challenges, letting go of what no longer serves you is essential. It’s the only way to move forward with clarity, purpose, and joy.


Call to Action


If you’re feeling weighed down by past mistakes, take inspiration from Justine and Adam. Let go of the rocks in your backpack and embrace the joy of the present. Whether it’s through the meaningful rituals of a Jewish wedding or the love and support of your community, there’s always a way to move forward.


Are you planning a wedding, a baby naming ceremony, or another special milestone? I’d be honored to guide you through the process with compassion and care. As a Jewish wedding cantor who was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi, I bring a deep understanding of Jewish wedding customs and traditions. Let’s work together to create a meaningful and joyous ceremony that reflects your unique story.


Visit bensilverberg.com to learn more about my Jewish wedding services, including guidance on Jewish wedding planning, Jewish wedding music, and more. Together, we’ll create a celebration that’s as unforgettable as your love story.


Final Reflection


The lesson from Justine and Adam’s wedding is clear: life is too short to dwell on the past. Whether you’re preparing for a wedding, planning a baby naming ceremony Jewish families treasure, or simply navigating the ups and downs of life, let go of what weighs you down and embrace the joy of the present.


So, what’s one rock you’re ready to put down today? Let’s move forward together. Share your thoughts with me—I’d love to hear your story and help you create a brighter, more joyful future.

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