How to Involve Children in Your Jewish Wedding Ceremony—And Build a Legacy of Love

By Cantor Ben – Jewish Wedding Cantor, Toronto

Hi, I’m Ben, your friendly neighborhood Jewish wedding

cantor—and if you’re planning a Jewish wedding ceremony and want your

children (or the children you love) to feel included, you’re not alone.

Whether you’re blending families, remarrying, or simply

have kids you want to celebrate with you, involving children

meaningfully in your Jewish wedding can deepen the love you all

share—and set the stage for a family legacy built on connection and

kindness.

I’ve officiated countless weddings across Toronto and

beyond, from traditional Jewish weddings to modern Jewish weddings

filled with creative ideas. I’ve seen firsthand how including kids

doesn’t just make them feel special—it can transform your wedding into a

powerful memory they’ll carry forever.

So let’s dive into practical, heartfelt ways to make your little (or not-so-little) ones an integral part of your big day.

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1️⃣ Invite Them to the Tisch or Bedeken

Before many Jewish wedding ceremonies, there’s a tisch (a

gathering where the groom is celebrated) and a bedeken (the veiling of

the bride). Both moments are rich in Jewish wedding rituals.

Invite your children to stand by your side at these

pre-ceremony traditions. Let them watch you sign the Jewish wedding

ketubah. Explain the meaning behind these customs in kid-friendly

language.

I once officiated a wedding for a couple, Marla and Adam,

who involved Marla’s daughter by giving her a small bouquet during the

bedeken. She beamed with pride—and the photos of that moment became

family treasures.

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2️⃣ Give Them a Role Under the Chuppah

Your Jewish wedding chuppah symbolizes the home you’re

building together. What better place for your children to stand than

right there beside you?

Depending on their age, you can:

• Have them hold the edges of the chuppah cloth

• Let them carry the rings

• Ask them to read a short blessing or poem during the ceremony

Including children in these ways doesn’t just add cuteness—it teaches them they’re part of this new chapter, too.

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3️⃣ Create a Family Vow

One of the most moving moments I’ve seen as a Jewish

wedding officiant came during a wedding in Toronto. The couple had three

children between them. After the bride and groom exchanged Jewish

wedding vows, they turned to the kids and made a promise:

“We vow to love, protect, and guide you. We promise to create a home filled with laughter, kindness, and respect.”

The kids then hugged them under the chuppah, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

Adding a family vow is a powerful way to show your children they’re central to your marriage—not an afterthought.

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4️⃣ Let Them Dance the Hora

What kid doesn’t love the Jewish wedding hora?

Make sure your DJ or band knows to invite children to the

center of the circle early on. You can even let them join you in the

chairs (with helpers to keep them safe).

This joyful chaos becomes a favorite wedding memory—and gives children a sense of belonging to the Jewish wedding celebrations.

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5️⃣ Special Attire and Accessories

Children love to feel important. Give them roles like:

• Ring bearer with a kippah embroidered with their name

• Flower girl with a dress matching your Jewish wedding attire

• A tallit (prayer shawl) gifted during the ceremony as a symbol of unity

During Marla and Adam’s Jewish wedding Toronto style,

their son wore a tiny suit and carried a mini Torah scroll. It connected

him to his heritage—and to the sacredness of the day.

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6️⃣ Include Them in Blessings

As your Jewish wedding cantor, I can craft a moment during

the Sheva Brachot (seven blessings) where children gather around for a

special blessing over the family.

This not only makes them feel involved, but also connects

them deeply with the spiritual aspect of the ceremony—helping them

understand why this day matters beyond the party.

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7️⃣ Celebrate with a Family Candle Lighting

At the Jewish wedding reception, set aside a time for a candle-lighting ceremony where kids light a unity candle with you.

You can tie this tradition to a story about Jewish values, family, or your hope for your future together.

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Don’t Forget the Follow-Up: Build a Legacy of Love

A wedding is one day—but it sets the tone for your family’s future.

The kindness, joy, and inclusion you show your children at

your wedding can echo for years—especially when followed by meaningful

traditions like:

• Hosting a baby naming ceremony Jewish-style when new siblings arrive

• Teaching them Jewish wedding customs through family stories and holiday celebrations

• Inviting them to help plan milestone events, so they feel valued as your family grows

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Final Thoughts: It’s More Than a Wedding—It’s a Family Story

As someone mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi (I’m a

Cantor, not a Rabbi myself), I’ve learned that the most impactful

weddings aren’t just beautifully decorated—they’re deeply intentional.

Your wedding can teach your children that love is patient, commitment is sacred, and family is forever.

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Planning your Jewish wedding or a baby naming ceremony?

Let’s talk about creating an experience where every child feels seen, loved, and part of the legacy you’re building together.

Because when you include children meaningfully, your

wedding becomes more than a celebration—it becomes the first chapter in a

story they’ll be proud to tell.