When Brayden and Lisa began planning their Jewish wedding Toronto, they knew the day would be special—but they wanted more than just a beautiful Jewish wedding ceremony. They wanted their marriage to be a reflection of their values, surrounded by love, positivity, and the right people. Their journey reminded me of a powerful lesson: the people you surround yourself with have an immense impact on your happiness and success.
This truth isn’t limited to weddings—it applies to every aspect of life. Your “zip code,” the community you choose to be a part of, can either lift you up or drag you down. Let’s explore how Brayden and Lisa built a strong foundation for their marriage by choosing their circle wisely and how this lesson can inspire us all.
The Impact of Your Circle
Brayden and Lisa approached me as their Jewish wedding officiant, seeking guidance not only for the rituals but also for creating a meaningful Jewish wedding experience. One of the challenges they faced was navigating relationships within their circle.
During the planning process, they realized some people in their lives were more focused on criticism and drama than support and celebration. These individuals doubted their choices—questioning their Jewish wedding venue, making negative comments about their Jewish wedding traditions, and even gossiping about the guest list.
Brayden and Lisa had a choice: let the negativity overshadow their joy or set boundaries and surround themselves with people who truly celebrated their love. They chose the latter.
The Strength to Walk Away
At their Jewish wedding ceremony under the Chuppah, Brayden and Lisa shared heartfelt vows, promising to lift each other up and create a life built on respect and kindness. These values were mirrored in the people they chose to celebrate with—friends and family who uplifted them and supported their vision.
Their decision reminded me of a student I once worked with who faced a similar challenge. She was mocked by her friends for dreaming big, and their negativity held her back. I told her, “It’s time to change your zip code. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.” She did, and her confidence soared, allowing her to achieve goals she once thought were out of reach.
Brayden and Lisa made a similar choice, ensuring their Jewish wedding in Toronto wasn’t just about tradition but about building a community that reflected their values.
The Power of Positivity in Marriage
One of the most beautiful moments of Brayden and Lisa’s Jewish wedding was the breaking of the glass, a powerful symbol in Jewish wedding traditions. It serves as a reminder of life’s fragility and the importance of cherishing each moment.
In their case, it also symbolized their commitment to breaking ties with negativity and building a marriage centered on love and support. Their Jewish wedding reception was a joyous celebration, filled with laughter, dancing, and the warmth of people who truly cared for them.
Lessons from CoolCantor Applied to Marriage
At CoolCantor Hebrew School, I teach my students the importance of choosing the right people to surround themselves with. Whether they’re preparing for a Bar Mitzvah, Bat Mitzvah, or navigating friendships, the lesson remains the same: the people you let into your life shape your future.
This lesson applies to marriage as well. Just like Brayden and Lisa, couples can strengthen their bond by surrounding themselves with a supportive community. From selecting the perfect Jewish wedding photographer to creating meaningful Jewish wedding Ketubah text, every step of the journey becomes more joyful when shared with the right people.
My Own Story of Choosing the Right Circle
Brayden and Lisa’s story reminded me of a time in my own life when I had to make a difficult choice. As a child at a baseball camp, I wanted to fit in with a group of kids who seemed confident and cool. But their actions—encouraging theft and bad behavior—didn’t align with my values.
For one day, I went along with it, fearing their rejection. But when I got home, I felt terrible. The next day, I made the choice to walk away and find a new group who shared my values. It wasn’t easy, but it shaped who I am today.
Later in life, my wife and I faced a similar situation. We distanced ourselves from a group of friends who thrived on gossip and negativity, choosing instead to seek out relationships that inspired and uplifted us.
Tips for Building Your Circle
Whether you’re planning a Jewish wedding or navigating life’s challenges, here are some tips to ensure you’re surrounded by the right people:
1. Set BoundariesLike Brayden and Lisa, don’t let negativity overshadow your joy. It’s okay to distance yourself from those who don’t support your vision.
2. Seek Uplifting RelationshipsChoose people who celebrate your successes and stand by you in tough times.
3. Embrace PositivityFocus on creating moments of joy, whether through Jewish wedding music, the Hora dance, or meaningful conversations.
4. Reflect Your ValuesSurround yourself with people who share your values and inspire you to be your best self.5. Celebrate Your CommunityFrom Jewish baby naming ceremonies to weddings, life’s milestones are richer when shared with a supportive circle.
Final Thoughts: The Foundation of a Strong Marriage
Brayden and Lisa’s Jewish wedding in Toronto was more than a celebration—it was a testament to the power of surrounding yourself with the right people. By choosing a community that lifted them up, they built a strong foundation for their marriage and future.
If you’re planning your own Jewish wedding, remember this lesson. Whether it’s deciding on Jewish wedding invitations, planning a baby naming ceremony, or celebrating the breaking of the glass, the people you choose to stand beside you matter.
Let’s create lives—and marriages—filled with positivity, support, and love.
Thanks for reading,
Cantor Ben
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