Can We Ask Someone We Love to Read Something During Our Jewish Wedding Ceremony?

One of the questions couples sometimes ask me during Jewish Wedding Planning is:

“Cantor Ben, there are people we really love and want to include. Can they read something during our Jewish Wedding Ceremony?”

My answer is absolutely yes.

In fact, thoughtfully involving parents, grandparents, siblings, children, or close friends can create some of the most emotional moments of the entire wedding.

When I officiated the wedding of Ashley and Brad, a wonderful Jewish couple from Toronto, I wanted the ceremony to reflect more than their relationship with each other.

I also wanted there to be opportunities to recognize some of the people who had helped shape their lives.

One beautiful option is built directly into Jewish tradition.

There are Seven Blessings, which can create seven meaningful honours for seven people the couple loves.

That is a remarkable opportunity.

The Seven Blessings Can Include Seven Important People

The Seven Blessings are one of the beautiful Jewish Wedding Traditions associated with a Jewish wedding.

Depending on how the ceremony is structured, I can invite different family members or friends to participate in reading them.

That means Ashley and Brad could honour seven people.

Perhaps a parent.

A grandparent.

A sibling.

A lifelong friend.

Someone who introduced them.

Someone who supported them through a difficult period.

Someone whose marriage they admire.

Suddenly, the Seven Blessings become more than Jewish Wedding Rituals.

They become an opportunity to surround the couple with voices representing the relationships that helped bring them to this moment. Seven blessings can become seven ways of saying, “You matter to us, and we want you standing with us in this moment.”

A Reading Does Not Have To Become A Speech

This is important.

Some couples hear the word reading and imagine adding ten minute speeches throughout the Jewish Wedding Ceremony.

That is not what I recommend.

The ceremony should still flow.

I want it to remain emotional, engaging, and focused on Ashley and Brad.

A short reading can be incredibly powerful.

Sometimes a person only needs a minute.

The goal is not to give everyone a microphone for as long as possible.

The goal is to give someone a meaningful moment.

Participation should add emotion to the ceremony, not add unnecessary length.

Who Can We Invite To Participate?

Almost anyone meaningful to the couple may be considered for an appropriate reading or honour.

Parents are an obvious possibility.

Grandparents can create an especially emotional moment.

Siblings may appreciate having a real role without becoming part of a formal wedding party.

Children can sometimes participate in age appropriate ways.

Close friends can be wonderful choices too.

The question I encourage couples to ask is not:

“Who needs a job?”

Ask:

“Whose voice would mean something to us during our wedding?”

That leads to much better decisions.

This Is A Beautiful Way To Honour Grandparents

Grandparents often hold a special place in Jewish Wedding Celebrations.

Maybe Ashley remembers spending Shabbat dinners with her grandparents.

Perhaps Brad learned something about marriage from watching his grandparents together.

Imagine having a grandparent offer one of the blessings beneath or near the Jewish Wedding Chuppah.

That person is not simply reading words.

They represent another generation.

There is something incredibly powerful about an older generation blessing the beginning of a younger generation’s marriage.

That is Jewish continuity becoming visible.

Siblings Can Have Meaningful Roles Too

Not every couple wants a large bridal party.

That does not mean brothers and sisters need to feel excluded.

A sibling might participate in one of the Seven Blessings.

They might read something meaningful.

They could hold the Jewish Wedding Ketubah or present the rings at another point in the ceremony. There are many ways to include family without creating roles simply for appearances.

I want every role to have purpose.

The most meaningful Family Participation Wedding moments are usually the ones that feel natural rather than forced.

Personalization Should Grow Out Of Relationships

This is why I spend time getting to know my couples before the wedding.

I ask Ashley and Brad questions.

What do you love doing together?

What qualities do you admire most in each other?

What do you truly love about each other? Why are you choosing marriage?

I also want to understand their families and friendships.

Who has supported them?

Who helped shape them?

Who would make the moment more meaningful simply by standing up and reading a blessing?

Those answers help me create a ceremony that feels personal.

I do not want Ashley and Brad’s names inserted into somebody else’s wedding. I want the ceremony to grow out of Ashley and Brad’s life.

This Is How I Approach Jewish Wedding Services

I was mentored by a great Jewish wedding Rabbi.

My own approach combines my work as a Jewish Wedding Cantor, licensed Ontario wedding officiant, singer, storyteller, public speaker, and certified Life Coach.

Each role influences the Jewish Wedding Services I provide.

As a Cantor, I bring Jewish Wedding Music and Jewish tradition.

As a storyteller, I bring the couple’s relationship into the ceremony.

As a public speaker, I understand pacing, transitions, humour, and emotion.

As a Life Coach, I listen for the deeper values and relationships inside the couple’s story.

That combination matters when family members participate.

I can weave their involvement into the ceremony so that it feels intentional rather than inserted.

Traditional Jewish Weddings Can Still Feel Completely Personal

This is one of the things I love about bringing Traditional Jewish Weddings and Modern Jewish Weddings together. Jewish Wedding Customs give us an extraordinary framework.

The Jewish Wedding Ketubah. Wine.

Rings.

Blessings.

The Jewish Wedding Chuppah.

The breaking of the glass.

But personalization allows those traditions to belong specifically to Ashley and Brad.

Maybe one grandparent reads a blessing.

Maybe a sibling reads another.

Maybe a friend participates.

The tradition remains.

But now it contains the voices of people the couple loves.

Jewish tradition gives us the structure. Relationships give that structure a heartbeat.

What If Someone Is Nervous About Reading?

That is completely understandable.

Not everyone enjoys public speaking.

Keep the reading short.

Give the person the words in advance.

Let them practise.

They do not need to memorize anything.

If someone is extremely uncomfortable speaking publicly, choose another way to honour them.

I never want participation to become punishment.

The moment should feel special to the person receiving the honour too.

Readings Can Make The Ceremony More Memorable For Guests

Think about what guests experience.

They arrive at the Jewish Wedding Venue.

They notice the Jewish Wedding Decorations.

They see the Jewish Wedding Attire.

The Jewish Wedding Photographer is capturing everything.

Then the ceremony begins.

When different loved ones rise to offer blessings, the guests begin understanding something about Ashley and Brad’s world. They see who matters.

They see family.

They hear familiar voices.

The ceremony becomes less like a performance and more like a community surrounding two people as they begin married life. Later, everyone can move into the Jewish Wedding Reception, Jewish Wedding Dance, Jewish Wedding Hora, and the rest of the celebration.

But those quiet ceremonial moments often become some of the ones people remember most.

What About Jewish Wedding Vows?

Couples who want Jewish Wedding Vows can certainly discuss including them with me.

Most of the weddings I officiate do not include personal vows because they are not traditionally required.

Instead, I learn what couples love and admire about each other and incorporate those feelings into my own personalized remarks.

Readings from family and friends can provide another beautiful emotional layer.

The result can feel deeply personal without requiring Ashley and Brad to spend the entire ceremony speaking publicly.

Sometimes I Get To Celebrate The Next Family Milestone

One of the privileges of officiating weddings is sometimes hearing from couples again as their family grows. They may later contact me about a Baby naming ceremony or ask how a Baby naming ceremony Jewish tradition can become meaningful and personal.

I also provide Jewish Baby Naming Services, Jewish Baby Naming Rituals, a Jewish Newborn Ceremony, other Jewish newborn ceremonies, and serve as a Jewish Baby Naming Officiant.

Families may want support with Jewish Baby Naming Tradition, Jewish Baby Naming Celebration, Jewish Baby Naming Ceremony Planning, a Jewish Baby Naming Invitation, Jewish Baby Naming Ceremony Music, or a Jewish Baby Naming Reception. There is something beautiful about people who once offered blessings at a wedding later gathering to welcome another generation.

Who Should Read At Your Wedding?

Start with the people.

Not the roles. Who has been there for you?

Whose marriage inspires you?

Who helped your relationship grow?

Who would feel deeply honoured to participate?

If you are planning a Jewish Wedding Toronto celebration, reach out to me.

Tell me about your families.

Tell me about your closest friends.

Tell me who matters.

Tell me what Jewish Wedding Traditions you want to include. Then we can decide whether readings or the Seven Blessings provide the perfect opportunity to honour them.

Ashley and Brad did not need to give everyone a formal wedding title.

They simply needed to make room for the people whose presence mattered most.

A reading may last only a minute. But hearing the voice of someone you love blessing your marriage can become a memory you carry for the rest of your life.